Fuggitabowtit

I have had people ask me what I'm doing to lose weight. They don't believe me when I tell them "nothing".

You see, a few months ago, I had a bit of a revelation.
I was so worried about calories, fat grams, whole grains, yadda yadda yadda, that I forgot my love for food.
And I do love my food.

But I was doing myself a huge disservice. I was depriving myself. I was so stressed out over what I could and couldn't eat, that I forgot to have fun. The stress was NOT good for me. The stress caused me to have plateau after plateau.

So I just stopped worrying about it.
I allow myself to have things. I just remain conscious about it. For example, if I have a cookie, I know I can't have seconds on dinner.

I have also stopped worrying about fresh vs not fresh.
I eat canned green beans again. Often. I realized that BUYING it isn't doing me much good if I'm not EATING it.

I am no longer making lentils (i hate lentils) or trying to force feed my family veggies they won't eat (although I do sneak an onion in something every once in a while).

And . . .
I eat chocolate.
Daily.

Why is it working?
Because I am focusing on the world around me.
School. Housework. Kids. Husband.
Before, my focus all day, every day was still food.
Like it or not, worrying so much was feeding my addiction.
Now . . .
I eat when I'm hungry, and I eat what I want.
I no longer feel the need to eat MORE than what I need to be full, because the stress isn't there any more.

Some weeks I lose one pound.
Some weeks I lose nothing.
But in the last two months I have not GAINED anything.
And I am content with that.

The cycle is broken.

30 Lbs . . .

30 lbs ago I was hopeless.
I was never going to lose this weight.
I would always be obese.

I look back on myself - then 309 lbs - and I see where I was.
I look at myself now - at 279 lbs - and I finally see who I am.

I still have a long way to go - at least another 100 lbs to my goal.
But I know now that it IS attainable.
I CAN do it.
I CAN be that person I've always wanted to be.

I thought about stopping this blog.
But friends didn't want me to - they told me so.
So I am going to give this my best effort to keep up with. As often as I can.
If I am touching just ONE person - just ONE.
If I am inspiring just ONE person - it's all worth it.
God bless all of you!

Taking a Hiatus . . .

Just wanted to let you all know that I am taking a break for a week in order to work on mid term exams. I will be back Tuesday, October 19 with the next installment of my "Blogging My Way Through Body Clutter" series.

God's love and blessings to you all!

Blogging My Way Through "Body Clutter" - Chapter One

Is food the enemy?
Well to some people, it can be.
Let's face it, it is an addiction that plagues more Americans than any drug on the market.
That's what this chapter faces.

We all associate memories to food, even those who aren't addicted - the Thanksgiving turkey, making cookies with mom, grandma's coconut cake . . . It's only human. But the difference between that and a food-addicted person is this - the food addict will take that memory and run with it. If it's a joyful memory, that food becomes attached to that joy, and we addicts have to have more of it especially during stressful times (still not convinced that food can be an addiction?)

For Marla, this addiction is Macaroni and Cheese. For Leanne, it's chocolate. For me, it's any food I can get my hands on.

Do I have a specific food memory? Well, I have several, but when it comes to "comfort food" I honestly don't have that one food that triggers me. My food addiction stemmed from a traumatic childhood that I won't go into detail about here. Essentially, I subconsciously put on weight for a purpose. Sadly, it didn't work, so I ended up continuing to eat to fill the painful void. I started putting on large amounts of weight by the time I was seven. Yes. SEVEN.

As a latchkey kid, I was never given limits on what I could or couldn't eat after school. I'd eat two mini pizzas, a whole box of macaroni and cheese, or a half a bag of potato chips for an after school snack. And then at dinner, I'd eat an entire plate filled to the rim with food, simply because my older brother would take whatever was left, and not leave anything for seconds or leftovers (I guess that was a form of self-preservation).

After I moved out of the house, I went to Austin where I got into some heavy legal trouble. Additionally, I was living with a (so I thought) friend that was manipulative and verbally abusive. In fact, she was the reason for all the legal trouble. After a year, I moved back home to my folks, but the depression and worthlessness were still in tact - full force. Again, I ate. By the time I was 21 years old, I was 240 lbs. Years passed, and I continued to put on weight - slowly but surely. When I had my daughter at 28 I was about 265. I stayed around the same weight until I met my husband about a year and a half later. After we moved in together and we got married, I gained even more weight. When I became pregnant with my second child, I was up to 280, roughly. After his birth, I went into a period of a kind of postpartum depression, and within five months time, I had put on 30 lbs to reach 310 lbs! I think I just now realized that I was depressed. Looking back now, I must have been. My house was terrible, I looked awful, I slept all the time, when I wasn't sleeping I was eating . . . I was depressed for sure.

Food had become my enemy, but I wasn't ready yet to relinquish all control.

Something Leanne said was that she finally realized that "It's only food! It isn't Love! It's not God!"(8). It would take me a while yet to find that realization.

Want to know exactly what Marla and Leanne say in their book? Buy it for yourself!

Blogging My Way Through "Body Clutter" - Introduction

The introduction to this book was both expected and surprising. Of course there were the usual obesity statistics and nutrition facts, but the surprising thing was how into detail about their lives Marla and Leanne went. Not only that, but every other paragraph was an "Oh, my God, that's ME" moment.

For example, Leanne recounts having two small children in the home while she was studying for her nutritionist license. This really hit home with me, as I am currently studying for my bachelor's degree with three kids in the house.

One of the points they both make here, is that you have to LOVE YOURSELF before you can truly let go of the emotional clutter (baggage) that led to the body clutter (obesity) in the first place. Marla even refers to body clutter as a kind of "self-abuse", and I couldn't agree more.

Why is it self abuse in my case? Well, that's something that I'll explore with you in the next point. Let's just suffice it to say that guilt and self-loathing were my initial triggers.

Want to know exactly what Marla and Leanne say in their book? Buy it for yourself!

Blogging My Way Through "Body Clutter"

I got a new book in the mail.
It's called Body Clutter, and it was written by The Fly Lady (Marla Cilley) and The Dinner Diva (Leanne Ely). Now, if you don't know who these two remarkable women are, you need to go check out their web sites. Go on. It's okay, I'll wait.

 . . . .

Alrighty then, now that you know how wonderful they are, let me tell you about how I ended up with this book.

If you've been following this blog, you know my struggles. I'll lose, then I'll gain. I'll try something, then something else, then something else . . .

If you've noticed I haven't been blogging here in a while, it's because I haven't really had much to blog about. It's kinda been the same thing ever day - I eat, I sleep, I weigh. Some days I lose, some days I don't. Then I started reading reviews on Body Clutter. It's not a diet book, first of all. It's more a book on how to deal with YOURSELF than anything else, and how to declutter your life (and thus your body). That was one thing that drew me to it. Second, I LOVE Marla Cilley more than you can possibly know. Seriously folks, she is my Lady Gaga. So I ordered it.

The thing about this book is that Marla and Leanne aren't preachy - at all. They don't point fingers and say mean things. They've BEEN there - and this is their story. Through telling their stories, they help you to write your own, so to speak, with exercises at the end of each chapter. The idea is that you keep a journal to write these answers in so you can go back and revisit them.

This is not a book about dieting, it's a book about changing your attitude about yourself.

About halfway through chapter 3, I got a stroke of genius. I have had bloggers block for this particular blog for a long time, so I decided why not use that to my advantage? I have decided that over the next couple of months, I am going to blog my way through this book. I will publicly journal my answers to all of the exercises, and share my successes and frustrations, joys and flops. I will not blog every day, simply because time will not allow that, but I will blog at least 2-3 times a week.

I would love for you to join me. If you would like to, you can get the book here or here.

So . . . Let's get started!

Adventures in fasting . . . Sort of

So last week DH and I come up with the great idea to try a two week fast. It really seemed like a good idea at the time, anyway. The intentions were good, the motivation was there. But what wasn't there was our expectations. Neither of us had any idea what was about to happen to our bodies and minds. After a day and a half, we couldn't continue. But we learned a lot those two days, and I believe I got a lot out of it.

I chronicled the first two days in my journal. To re-post all of it would take too long, but here are a couple of excerpts:

Day 1
Mood, Hopeful, Excited


I woke up hungry for the first time in a long time . . . Had a bottle of water with lemon - it was surprisingly yummy . . . Ronnie is doing things differently. I'm a little worried for him actually . . .


Day 2
Mood: Bleh


Yesterday was plain awful . . . I had to lay down most of the day and when I'd get up, I was weak and light headed. Even now, I don't feel like myself . . . Poor Ronnie, I think he suffers more from watching what I am going through . . . I am calling it withdraw. After all, it is an addiction I am trying to break . . . and I'm trying to justify my addiction.


Yesterday I had 2 shakes, a mug of broth, and a cup of juice and drank lots of water and lemon. The shakes are going to become tiresome, though . . . I had a nice talk with Ronnie yesterday and finally understand fully his reason to want to do this . . .


Last night had a CSH meeting . . . Friends were worried because of how I was acting. I just wasn't myself at all.


Hoping and praying that today is much better.


Day 3
No more fast.
Mood . . . ???


I am unsure how I feel about quitting. I know Ronnie feels like a failure, but somehow I do not. I am taking so much with me on this experience, as short as it was. I no longer crave the soda. And the food that I crave is on the healthier side. Things like salad and green beans, and tuna and scrambled eggs . . . I am confident that I have gotten the detox over with and that my journey will become easier . . . I feel for those that have to do this for surgery . . .  I now know that my will power for that just might not be strong enough.


What did I learn from this experience? Well, I learned that I am not as strong a person as I thought I was. After two days both my husband and I were in bad shape. I also learned that I lean on food too much for comfort - more than I thought I did. I learned that I don't have to eat when I am bored - I can drink something that tastes good such as water with lemon or some sugar free tea and be just as satisfied. I also learned that I don't have to eat as much as I thought I needed to in order to survive or to lose weight.

I am thinking that this fast is what is going to help me get back on track this time. And when I lose track, all I need to do is another 1-2 day fast to get back on it. I am hopeful that I can do this.

My meal plan for the day has changed as well, and now looks like this:

AM
Breakfast: Bagel Thin with 1T cream cheese, coffee with splenda and fat free 1/2 and 1/2
Snack: Weight Loss Shake
32 oz water

PM
Lunch: Soup or salad, fruit, iced tea with lemon and splenda
Snack: cup of broth or cup of power juice (pear, apple, grape, celery, carrot, spinach)
16 oz water

Dinner: Low-Fat Entree, Salad, Vegetable, iced water
Bed time snack: cup of herbal tea with splenda (occasionally air popped pop corn)

No soda, low carbs, low sugar, and low fat. My daily calorie count (not that I'm counting) should be in the range of 1200-1500 a day. I know it seems low, but in reality I don't get much exercise (as much as I'd like to), and I've been reading that the more sedentary a life you live, the fewer calories you need.

I know that I can do this with lots of prayer and encouragement.
Here's to your health!

Hate Not Working Out . . .

This week the workout has been a bit of a challenge, and my body is feeling the after effects. The main thing is my ankle - it's been hurting for a few days now. What did I do to it? I have NO idea. There's no problem with flexibility, but when I put weight on it, it hurts. I am utterly clueless.

Then there's the problem with the "burn out". I have a couple of work out videos I've been doing, and the truth is, I'm already tired of them. I need to invest in a couple more, I'm sure, but I can't find what I want in the store, and online it's hard to find too so . . . *sigh*.

I know that working out is the most important thing I can do - even more so than the eating. But I just can't seem to get with it this week. Yeah, I know I know . . . "just do it" . . . that kind of thing, but it's not as easy as it sounds! Really!

I need to figure out a way to get moving . . .

Low Fat, Easy brats and "Kraut"

Ronnie and I LOVE our Bratwurst. That's what I get for marrying a man with German blood running through his veins. But, brats can be SUPER high in fat and calories. Add a sandwich roll on top of that, and it's not exactly the healthiest thing you can put in your body.

Well, today I created a recipe that will satisfy that brats-and-kraut craving - it's SUPER easy, and FULL of flavor!

Crock-Pot Sausage and Kraut

1/2 head cabbage, sliced into shreds (you can also find pre-shredded cabbage in some supermarkets)
1 lb lean turkey brats
1/2 c Chicken broth
1/4 c apple cider vinegar
2 T sugar OR Splenda (if you're watching your carbs or are diabetic)
1 T caraway seed (optional)
salt and pepper to taste

In a 5 qt crock pot, combine broth, vinegar, sugar, salt and pepper, caraway seed, and cabbage (I used my clean hands to mix it gently and well). Lay brats on top of cabbage.

Cook on high 3-5 hrs or on low 6-8 hrs.
*note - if you prefer the more sour sauerkraut, omit the sugar and use white vinegar*

DIY - Do It Yourself!!

One thing that a lot of people have issues with when it comes to eating well, is the cost. I'm a huge fan of Diary of a Mad, Fat Woman, and her most recent post is what has inspired this one. 

Everyone who tries to lose weight always has an excuse - It's too hard, it's too expensive, it doesn't taste good . . . You know who you are (and yes, I am just as guilty as you are some days).

Well, here are some great tips that will help you off-set any time or cost issues you may have for eating well.

1) Buy in bulk, cook in advance. Buy 2 lb bags of brown rice and cook it all at once. Portion it out into 1 cup servings in freezer bags and store it in the freezer for those nights when you want to do a quick and easy stir fry or skillet meal. Do the same with chicken breasts - in some stores, you can buy 5 lbs of boneless, skinless breasts for about the cost of 2 1 lb packages. Buy it, cook it up, and store it for later use. This can also be done with ground turkey, whole wheat pasta, even veggies!

2) Make the most of your time. Of course you can't cook a pork loin and veggies when you get home from work. But you can make something quick and easy. Even a spaghetti dinner can be made healthy by switching from white pasta to whole wheat, using ground turkey instead of beef, and bulking up your sauce with some mushrooms, onions, peppers, or spinach (or, you can do what I do and add all three!).

3) Invest in a crock pot! A crock pot is an ESSENTIAL part of my life - I use it at least once a week, sometimes twice. And it's just made for low-fat, low-cal cooking! All those cuts of low-fat meat that dry out easily? Stick them in the crock pot with some veggies, a little broth, and set it and forget it! Remember that pork loin you didn't have time to cook? Well, now you do!

4) SOME packaged products are okay - in a pinch. For example - you can find good low-fat and low-sodium cream of chicken or cream of mushroom soups. Add some brown rice, veggies, and a protein and you have a great casserole! If you don't have time (or think you don't, anyway) to cook brown rice for an hour, go ahead and use the quick-cooking variety. It has the same nutritional value and a fraction of the time. Just be sure to read the labels to make sure there's no added sugar or fat!

5) Vegetables are surprisingly cheap. Even more so if you buy them frozen, in some cases. You can buy stir fry mixes for a fraction of what it would cost to buy all the veggies separately - and there's little to no waste since it can be stored in the freezer for up to a year!

"But Jen, how can I make dinner in a hurry for my family in between work, PTA meetings, soccer, cheerleading, swimming, supper club, book club, and the church auxiliary?"

There are SO MANY options for just that. I have a secret formula I'm going to share with you. Ready?

1 lb meat + 1 1/2 c Brown Rice or Whole Wheat Pasta + 1 C broth or water + 1 can cream soup or tomato paste + 2 T seasoning of choice + 1 1/2 c fresh or frozen vegetables of choice + 1 deep sided skillet + 20-30 minutes = a skillet meal for four fit for a family of four. : )

For example - use ground turkey, brown rice, beef broth, tomato paste, taco seasoning, peas and carrots and you have a taco skillet meal! 

Use chicken, pasta, chicken broth, cream of mushroom soup, thyme, and mushrooms for an out of this world mushroom chicken skillet. 

The possibilities are endless. The benefits - YOU KNOW WHAT'S GOING INTO YOUR FAMILY'S TUMMIES! Unlike the packaged products, where you can't even pronounce half the items.

So, NO MORE EXCUSES! Eating healthy does NOT have to break the bank OR take up your time!

New Outlook - Again . . .

After my meltdown the other day, I came to realize quite a few things.

1) Never weigh yourself then blog about it when you're hormonal

2) I have an amazing network of friends and family that love and support me

3) I need to hide my scale (and dear, dear Hubby has done just that for me)

4) Hubby loves me, no matter what I weigh (he told me so, too!)

5) GOD loves me, no matter what I weigh

6) If I am eating right and exercising, the weight itself is secondary

Looking back on last week, I've thought a few things over - while I DID do more last week then usual, it just might not have been enough. I exercised two times. I ate healthfully, but I probably ate too much (even healthy food can be bad if you eat too much of it). So, in retrospect, I need to "fuggetabowtit" and move on.

I also realized that I am disobeying God by relying too much on the scale. God wants us to rely on Him, and put our trust in Him. Instead, I was putting my trust in a machine. I was worshiping a false idol.

One thing that I often write about is self image. I apparantly forgot my own mantra the other day:

"I am fearfully and wonderfully made" (Psalm 139:14) by God "in his own image" (Genesis 1:27). God created me as I am - fat and all. He made me with frizzy hair, big boobs and a flat tush. He gave me a mole on my nose, and missing incisor teeth. He gave me a quirky look that my husband just loves.

So, as I repent for all of that, I make a vow. Okay, two vows.

1) I will never EVER blog on PMS again.

2) I will F.R.O.G. = Fully Rely On God.

If I can do those two things, I'll be just fine.

Discouraged and Downtrodden . . .

I have fluctuated between the same five pounds for over a year now.

Sometimes I'm 288. 

Sometimes I'm 290.

Sometimes I'm 292.

If I were to ever see another number I'd be a happy girl.

Today was not that day.

Everyone - my husband, my friends, my family, even total strangers - tell me to not get discouraged. It takes time to lose weight.

But how can I do what I did this week and 

NOT. LOSE. A. POUND.

I am so discouraged right now, and I really feel like I am dealing with this alone, because I really don't think anyone understands.

I know that God has created me the way He wants me to be, but surly He doesn't want me to be 

290 lbs

??

I am praying for strength and guidance.

i just don't know what to do anymore.

Dreading the scale

Tomorrow is my weigh in day.

I am so nervous.

I've mentioned before my relationship with the scale.

Really it's a kind of unhealthy obsession.

But it's just sitting there. Daunting. DARING me to stand on it so it can show me just how close to 300 lbs I still am.

300 lbs.

I am praying so hard that I never see that number again in my life.

I looked at myself in the mirror last night, and wondered how my husband could possible be attracted to someone with my body. I felt ugly. I felt like that fat kid in high school that everyone loved to tease and taunt and make cry.

So I dread the scale. 

I've worked out more than I have in a long time this week.

I've cut way down on carbs and went way up on fruits and veggies.

Why am I so afraid?

I am praying that God gives me the strength to face tomorrow's number, no matter what it might be.

Why Water?

Most people go on a diet and the decide to stop drinking regular soda and make the switch to diet. I am guilty of this myself. But I have realized that soda may not be the way to go. Of course one or two during the course of the day should be fine, but all day long . . . notsomuch.

There are thousands, perhaps millions, of people that detest water. They don't like the colorless, flavorless properties of it. They believe it to be "boring". But what they don't know (or maybe they do, and just chose to ignore it) is the fact that water is one of the keys to weight loss!

Why is this? Well, for several reasons.

First and foremost, our bodies are made up of over 70% water. That means that the majority of our body mass is good old H2O. Throughout our day we lose quite a bit - up to 20% depending on activity. We NEED to replace that. Soda is thirst quenching for the moment, but don't do much for hydration in the long run. Only water can replace water, and soda is more carbonation and high fructose corn syrup than water.

Second, water is fat free, calorie free, sodium free, and carbonation free. Soda has the possibility of promoting stomach ulcers, kidney stones, and, according to one report, could possible be linked to osteoporosis. You'll never find water being accused of this.

Water was the first thing God created when he made the Earth (Genesis 1:2) - it was already there before even night and day. He put it here to nourish His earth, His creatures, and His children!

If you think water is boring or just doesn't taste good, try mixing it with citrus fruit, melon, or cucumber to add flavor. You can also drink sugar-free non-carbonated beverages such as Crystal Light, but drink these in the same moderation as soda - sugar substitutes can also be bad for you in large quantities!

So, next time you get thirsty, try reaching for a nice cold bottle of refreshing, clear, sparkling, calorie free water. In fact, I think I'm going to do just that right now.

My Wii and Me

I haven't used my Wii in over three months.
That would be MARCH since my last workout!
I could not believe it had been that long.

So I got on it this morning.
I did thirty minutes of yoga, boxing, step training, and my favorite - the ski jump.
I burned over my goal today too.
Exciting stuff.

Then I realized something . . .
In my day, I actually have enough time to do TWO of these thirty minute workouts and burn what my ACTUAL goal should be - 300 calories a day.

Now, the problem is the willpower.

This is where I need God's help.
I just don't have it.
I don't understand why.
I had enough willpower to quit smoking.
I have enough to get up early every morning and read my bible.
I have enough to get up and get my house in order.
But I don't seem to have it for this.
Why is that?

So everyday, I plan to pray for the willpower to do this. EVERY DAY.
I know that God will help me to fulfill His plan for me.
I just have to learn to rely on Him a little more, and myself a little less.

Self-Image

Psalm 139:13-16 

For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother's womb. I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well. My frame was not hidden from you, when I was being made in secret, intricately woven in the depths of the earth. Your eyes saw my unformed substance; in your book were written, every one of them, the days that were formed for me, when as yet there was none of them.

Weight loss is a journey that many people embark on. Most people, in fact, have spent their lives trying to lose that 5, 10, or 15 lbs. And many of those people have even more to lose - 40, 50, even 100 pounds or more.

And many of these people, again I will venture to say "most", are unsuccessful for the long term. People on diets or eating plans often lose will power and go back to their original way of eating. People who have had weight loss surgery often find ways to "eat around" their bypass or lap-band.

Even I have been unsuccessful in my journey.

Of course this leaves one feeling dejected, heartbroken, worthless. We see ourselves as failures, and often as unworthy of love. I am guilty of this.

But there is one thing that many dieters don't realize.

Until we can accept who we are, as wonderfully made in God's image, we will not be successful. It is our dependence on the Lord that will help us in this journey.

Of course we know the way to salvation is through Jesus Christ. But the way to health? YES.

WE ARE HUMAN. WE ARE INHERENTLY WEAK AND CANNOT FACE THIS BATTLE ON OUR OWN.

As Christians, we have admitted our weaknesses to God, and have admitted to ourselves that we can't do other things without His help. Why is weight-loss any different?

ONLY BY LEANING ON HIM, CAN WE BE DELIVERED FROM OUR WEAKNESS.

2 Corinthians 12:9 

"But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me."

WE ARE WEAK, BUT HE IS STRONG

Try this for a week - when you are tempted to eat after you are already full, pray.

When you are tempted to eat when you are not hungry, pray.

When you are tempted to eat that entire pint of Ben and Jerry's Coffee Heath Bar Crunch in your freezer, PRAY.

PRAY PRAY PRAY PRAY PRAY

The Bible tells us to "Pray continually" (1 Thessalonians 5:16), this means in every aspect of our lives.

We are "Wonderfully and fearfully made" in the Lord. When we start seeing ourselves as such, and start praying always, as commanded, then, and only then can we be 100% successful.

And remember, it's not about being THIN. It's about being HEALTHY and being the people GOD wants us to be.

When do you KNOW it's working?

I frown at the scale quite often, a little wrinkle in my brow. It sometimes makes me so angry that this little flat box has so much control in my life. Up one, down three. Down five, up two. Down seven, up six. It's so frustrating sometimes. So what keeps my motivation going? Why don't I just give up and quit? Well, to be honest, it's moments like what happened to me this weekend.

We spent July 3rd with my husband's family at Lake Amon Carter (that's in Bowie, TX for those of you that aren't in the cool crowd). Emily spent the day splashing in the water with her cousins, Garrett popping firecrackers, Ronnie and I on the water. And then there was Jacob. Jake, 2, is a runner. He likes to run. He also likes to run AWAY. As Ronnie and I were trying to get aboard our Hobie 16 catamaran, Jake decided to take off running into the next lake lot, where (to my embarrassment and dismay) an elderly couple were enjoying some "quiet time". I chased him around our lake lot, to the next, around it, and back through ours before finally catching up with him, where I picked him up and firmly deposited him into his grandmother's waiting lap. Getting on the boast, I realized something profound.

One year ago, I would not have been able to do that. I would have gotten tired, had a cramp, SOMETHING. For SOME reason, I would not have been able to go after my son.

It was a great feeling.

So, the scale hasn't changed that much in the last year. My clothes haven't either, for that matter. But I am aware now of the fact that I must be doing SOMETHING right! Those little baby steps are adding up one by one.

So I'm gonna keep on keepin' on.

Being a loser feels great!

I have a love-hate relationship with the scale. I go down a pound or two, I LOVE it. Go up or stay the same, I LOATHE it. I have to make sure that I keep the positive relationship going with my scale because, lets face it, it's not the SCALE'S fault I messed up. 

I really paid attention to my eating this week. I stayed, on average, around 2000 calories a day. It doesn't sound like much to some people, but I weigh 290 - oops, sorry, that's 289 now! That's a LOT of extra weight, and it's going to take baby steps in order to lose it. The 2000 calories is the first baby step for me. The second is drinking water. I haven't quite gotten up to 8 cups yet, but I'm doing better. My third step, which will start next week, will be weighing and measuring my food. I have a scale and a wonderful set of measuring cups for just that purpose. 

I am proud of what I've accomplished. Yes, it's only a pound. But that one pound is HUGE in my book!

Finding What Works for You

There's a old TV theme song that says "What might be right for you, might not be right for some". It's talking about life, and how we're all different. Well, that saying also works for dieting.

Looking back over this blog, I've realized that I have been through every major diet "fad" that's out there. And they haven't stuck. Why? Honestly, I don't know. Maybe it's the attitudes that go along with some of them, maybe it's the negativity that I have experienced with some of the people involved in them. Either way, going from diet to diet is not only ridiculous, but sabotaging. I found something that worked, but instead of sticking with it, I changed to something else. Did it work too? Nope. In fact, it made things worse. I gained weight. So then I went to something else. Didn't work either. Then the next thing. And the next thing. And the next thing.

So, after much prayer and thought, I have decided to go back to the one thing that I know for a fact did work for me.

Calorie counting isn't for everyone. I will never say that it is. Some people just don't do well on it. And that's okay. But, I happen to be one of those people that needs to count calories. I have found that when I am aware of what I am eating and how much, I make it a point to do better. It's like a game or puzzle, and I love it. So I'm back to counting the calories.

Yes. I know I preached against it in an earlier blog. But I have found that in my quest for knowledge and information, there is just too much information. You really can't go by what everyone says - even so-called-"experts". All they want to do is get your money. So, figure out what it is that you need to do for you to lose weight. Low cal? Low carb? Vegetarian? Whatever works for you, find it and STICK WITH IT.

My daily calorie goal is around 2000 right now. That means I can eat 1800-2200 a day. I need to get in at least 30 minutes of exercise daily. I need to drink more water and less diet soda (although one soda with a meal or as an evening snack is okay). I need to focus more on what is important in life - my God, my Family, my Friends.  As my amazing mother-in-law said "Food is not my focus".

This blog is going to evolve into something different. I will continue to chronicle my journey, but in the process I will also do a monthly weigh in, post healthful recipes, and give my calorie counts and exercise logs for the week. But I will no longer be promoting any one style of weight loss. Because I have found that what's right for others, isn't for me. And what's right for me, might not be right for some.

Preventing Obesity in Your Children

Childhood obesity is a growing concern in the American family.  We, as a country, have some of the most overweight adults on the planet.  And our children aren't any healthier than we are.  With diets consiting of fast food and little fruits and vegetables, and with exercise routines that include how fast the your thumbs can go on the action button, it's little wonder that our children are slowing gaining on us in the overweight department.

So, what can we do as parents?  There are several steps that you can take to ensure your children will remain healthy and happy.

1) limit TV and video game time.  Children should watch only two hours of television a day and should play only an hour of video games a day.

2) decrease carbs while increasing whole grains.  According to the food pyramid guide, kids only need 6 oz of grains a day.  If you give them a bowl of cereal in the morning, a sandwich at lunch, and a bowl of pasta or rice a day, they will have plenty.  They also recommend that at least half of those grains be whole grains such as whole wheat, brown rice, or flax.

3) increase your fruits and vegetables.  The food guide also says that kids need up to four cups of fruits and vegetables a day.  Let's face it, most adults don't get that much.  Give some juice and a piece of fruit in the morning, carrot sticks at lunch, fruit or raw veggies and dip for snacks, and at least one vegetable at dinner.  Need some help with some picky eaters?  The Sneaky Chef has some great online recipes to help out with that!

4) don't force the issue.  Seriously.  There is an old saying that goes "when he's hungry enough, he'll eat".  Learn this.  Live by this.  Know this is true.  If he's not hungry enough to eat that plate of mashed potatoes, green beans, and turkey meatloaf, then he's not hungry enough. Forcing our kids to "clean your plates" teaches them the wrong idea. Basic idea is: IF YOU'RE NOT HUNGRY DON'T EAT.  Same should go for the children.

5) play with your kids.  Go outside or to the park. Run with them. Climb with them. Show them that exercise can be fun family time for all! They'll love the special time with you, and they'll be getting in a workout to boot!

Remember that YOU are your child's best example.  You want them to live healthy happy lives?  Show them how by living one yourself.

Plateau plateau plateau . . . !

So 

two weeks ago I was so excited because I lost 2 lbs.  

I officially gained it back last week.  

This week, no change.  What is it with my body that's keeping me from losing this weight?  I've been EXACTLY the same weight (give or take a pound or two) for almost a YEAR now!  

Yes, a whole year!!  

It doesn't seem to really matter what I do - I eat healthy, stays the same, I exercise, stays the same, I count calories, stays the same, no matter what I do, 

IT STAYS THE SAME!

I think it's time now for me to ask myself why.  

Does God WANT me to be this weight for some reason?

Is He trying to send me a message?

I'm really trying to figure out why this is happening to me.

I refuse to use pills

I refuse to have surgery

I refuse to start yet ANOTHER fad diet that will do me ABSOLUTELY NO GOOD WHATSOEVER

I want to do this the RIGHT way

But the right way doesn't seem to be working 

FUNNY OF THE DAY:

Disappointed

I gained a pound this week.

I know that for most people that's not necessarily a big deal. And I probably need to look at it a little differently - this has been a "hormonal week" and I've had a little stress on me this week. But those are just excuses.

Looking back at my food journal for the week, trying to figure it all out I noticed a trend. In the afternoons, I get bored. When that happens, I tend to forget to listen to my signals and just eat out of boredom because I have the "munchies". So I guess what that means for me now is that I need to find something else to do during the baby's nap time.

I am about halfway through the first exercise in the workbook. I am taking it slow, trying to really think about and ponder my answers. Some of them are secretly tricky, I've noticed. I am a little worried about going through the book without an actual group doing it with me. Hopefully this site will suffice for the "support group".

My husband has jumped on the ball a little bit as well. I noticed the other day he only took one spoonful of dinner instead of three. I secretly smiled to myself. He did go back for seconds, but that's okay because in the long run he still ate less than he would have originally.

I am hoping my daughter (6) starts learning to listen to her cues as well. She will keep eating something and say "I'm still hungry". I know she can't still be hungry, but she will cry to get more food. I am hoping she watches me and learns. I fear that DH's children (13 and 14) are a lost cause in this aspect. Especially the 14 year old. He will eat until he's sick just because something "tastes good". They even went home and told their mother that DH and I were "starving them" because we wouldn't let them go back for thirds! Insane. I am really fearful for their future health.

My goals for this week are to find something better to do with my time during the afternoon, finish the first exercise in the workbook, and to pray for my children and their eating habits.

Think Small . . .

I know, that sounds like a contradiction in today's over-zealous "think big" society.  But I fully believe that that "think big" attitude is what has made the US the fattest nation in the world.  Big cars have replaced walking or biking from place to place, and big roads and highways have made it very unsafe to do so anyway.  Big chain restaurants are feeding us big portions (and some with very big price-tags).  Big clothing chains have been forced into creating bigger sizes for their bigger clientele. We all have the desire for big, bigger, biggest in our lives.  That's where we make some of the biggest mistakes in our lives.

As a result, our bills are bigger, our debts are bigger, our stresses are bigger, and ultimately our waistlines are bigger.

So what do you do to solve this?  You have to change your thinking.  You have to go from "think big" to "thinking small".

Smaller cars, for example, are more economical and most are "greener".
Smaller portions in restaurants means smaller checks and smaller belts.
Smaller bills mean smaller stresses.

But this blog is about weight loss, not economics.
How does this apply to weight loss?
Well, quite simply, eat small, weigh less.

Is it really that simple? Well, yes, it is.  Eat smaller portions off a smaller plate - it'll make it look like you have more.  Eat with a smaller fork.  It'll take longer to eat and you'll feel fuller much quicker than you would if you were shoveling in your food with a giant fork.  Eat small.

Yes, it takes some will power and work.  But then, weight loss isn't supposed to be easy.  But it will be so worth it when you you're "smaller thinking" leads to smaller sizes!

PLATEAU BROKEN!!

After LITERALLY months of being the exact same weight, I have finally broken through my plateau!  I lost three pounds this week!  So what did I do?

Well, I stopped eating when I wasn't hungry.  Is it REALLY that simple?  YES IT IS.

Dr. Rita Hancock (I've mentioned her before) wrote the book "The Eden Diet" where she discusses just that.  According to her (and she uses scripture to back this up) the bible gives us all the instruction we need on eating.  I had never thought of it that way, but she's right.

Of course right now I sound like an over-zealous paid actor, right? Perhaps I should give it a longer time period before I call "success!"  But all I know is this - I wasn't losing weight, and now I am.  There was only one thing that changed.

People tell us all the time that we have to eat every two hours to keep our metabolism going!  You know what I say to them?  HOGWASH!  You're telling ME that I have to eat something I don't like every two hours weather or not I'm hungry?  I don't think so.  I like Dr. Hancock's theory better - eat smaller portions of food that you actually LIKE - but only when you're hungry.  If you're still hungry, eat a little more.  If you're not hungry (now here's where the challenge comes in) STOP EATING.

**DISCLAIMER:  I am a Christian - I started this as a weight loss blog for Christians.  If you're not a Christian you may want to stop reading right now, or turn away from the screen.**

My whole life has revolved around food.  When was I going to get it, how much of it I was going to eat.  I focused on meal planning, recipe writing, watching food network, reading cookbooks.  The whole purpose behind the Eden Diet is different, though.  Instead of focusing on FOOD (what and how much you should and should not eat) you focus on GOD.  Thanking God for the feeling of hunger as a sign when to eat.  Praising him for the glorious food that you are about to receive.  Enjoying the food to His glory.

When you "diet", your focus still stays on the same thing - food.  You worry about how many calories, carbs, or fiber is in something.  You check fat content and concern yourself with things like "trans fat" and "cholesterol".  But is that really where your focus should be?

Our focus should be on God every hour of every day.  We should do ALL things for his glory from housecleaning (blogged on that one on The Supermom Blues) to hobbies, to reading, to even cooking and eating.  God should be on our focus at all times.  Once we regain sight of that, we can do anything.  Philippians 4:13 says "I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me".  It's time - for me anyway - to "let go and let God".  To thank Him for every aspect of my life and allow him to rule my life.  I need to remember that GOD is in control of me, NOT FOOD.


That is a lesson for all to take with them when it comes to weight loss.  We allow the food to control us, when we need to be the ones to be in control of the food, and relinquish our control over ourselves to God.

Taking Baby Steps

After months and months of saying we were going to, Ronnie and I have finally started walking together.  We went to the local park, let the six-year-old loose on the playground, stuck the toddler in his stroller and started walking the track.  The track is .16 mile.  About six times around the track is a mile.  I only made it four times around on Tuesday.  I was so disappointed in myself.  Of course, I know that for an almost 300-lb woman (I can't believe I just told the world that) that's really nothing to sniff at, but I know I can do better.  I know I can make that mile.  That is my goal today.  To walk an entire mile on that track.  That's six times around.

That leads me to another point. It's important to make goals. When we don't, we have nothing to strive for.  And without that, what's the point?  We need to set goals every day to be successful.  A goal might be to walk for 15 minutes or to drink four glasses of water instead of two.  Even to incorporate a fruit into your meal plan for the day, or eat a salad.  Small goals can make HUGE changes. Here's the thing though - don't go too grandiose with it.  Sometimes people make the mistake of making goals that there is NO way they can reach.  Such as a person that has never exercised in her life making the goal to run a 5K the next day.  Or a person to completely change their eating habits 100% that week.  Those goals aren't attainable for most people (don't start throwing stuff at me - I said MOST people.  If you are one of those people that can do these things, then bully for you.  Please email me your secret). Small goals - baby steps as Fly Lady Marla Cilley says.  One baby step a day.  For me, I had one baby step on Tuesday.  To walk.  I didn't give myself a limit on how long or far, just to do it.  Today, my baby step is to set that goal of length.  I was able to walk four laps Tuesday, there's no reason I can't walk at least five today - but my real goal is six.  Tomorrow, my baby step will be something else.  Day by day.  Hour by hour.  Minute by minute.

Change takes time.  It won't happen overnight. It CAN'T happen overnight, or it won't stick.  This is a problem I've had in the past, and one that I still struggle every day to overcome in so many areas.  Baby steps. Baby steps. Baby steps.  Eventually, I'll get there.

When the GOOD cravings kick in . . .

You know, every so often, I CRAVE healthy food.  Like this weekend, for example.  DH and I were camping with a few of our best friends, one of which takes over the cooking for everyone.  He is an amazing cook.  But what he choses to cook isn't exactly the healthiest of foods.  Don't get me wrong, I LOVE his sausage and potatoes, hamburgers, sausage and beans, and so-on. But this weekend, I was actually CRAVING healthier fare - fruit, turkey burgers, salad . . . THAT'S what I wanted to eat. Not so good for me this weekend (although the food, as always, WAS amazing), but it made me realize something. When faced with the prospect of not having a choice in the matter, I CRAVED the healthier things.  This tells me something about my body - I want NUTRITIOUS food - not junk (although I did crave a Twix today like you wouldn't believe).  I am starting to hear what my body wants and needs and relate to food from that perspective, rather than from the perspective of comfort or boredom.  I like this change.  I welcome it, and thank God for it.  I am ready for it!

So . . . What CAN we eat?

I am food-obsessed.  Anyone who knows me can tell you that. I love to cook, I love to write, read, and re-write recipes, I love to research food trends and fads.  And, obviously, I love to eat.  Recently I've gotten on a kick of watching documentaries about food.  Lately I watched "Food, Inc.". This movie really got me paranoid.  Then I started REALLY thinking . . .

Experts are all different.  And they have different viewpoints.  One expert says to not eat fat, one to not eat carbs.  One says to only eat whole, organic foods, while another one will tell you that processed foods are not only okay, but good for you.  There's the south beach diet, the Atkins diet, weight watchers, spark people, the grapefruit diet, the Eden diet, and so on, and so forth.  The point is they all say something different.  If you look at what all these doctors say and put it all together you are left with only one question.  So . . . What CAN I eat?

Bread and pasta are a given now days.  Unless it's whole grain, don't eat it.  So, no white anything.  Oh, wait a sec . . . Wheat gluten is bad for a lot of people now . . . okay, so only products made with corn, rice, or soy products . . . Oh, can't do that b/c all these farmers are using pesticides and genetic enhancement on their corn and soy beans! Hmm . . . well, meat isn't bad, right?

Well, for years "experts" have been saying to not eat fat, so we'll start with that.  No fat.  That means only lean meat such as poultry breast, lean beef, fish, and lean pork. Oops!  Wait, can't eat that because it's processed in factories that support cruelty to animals and their products are all genetically enhanced.  Leaves meat off the list. Fruit and veggies!  Surely THOSE are good for me!

BUT only non-starchy ones which leaves off potatoes, bananas, plantains, apples, corn, beans, and peas.  Oh, yeah, those silly pesticides are back.  And the genetic enhancements.  Well, dang, leaves off vegetables.

So, to solve this we can just eat all organic right?  WRONG!  Guess what?  Those "organic" companies are still allowed to use a certain amount of chemical pesticides, and for the ones that use only organic pesticides, well, some of those are just as dangerous as the chemical toxins!

So, that leaves us at square one.  What's a girl to do?

Some advice?  Fuggitaboutit.

If we spend all our time worrying about what we're eating and where it comes from, we'll go crazy.  I'm not saying that you should stock up on Twinkies and totino's pizza.  But I'm saying that when it comes to healthy food, you can't worry about that kind of thing or it will sabotage your efforts.  Great rule of thumb is this, "If it grows in the ground or you can pick it off a tree, chances are it's good for you."  That's a great place to start.  Focusing on that, and on the foods that God provided us is far better.  God gave us wonderful meats, vegetables, and fruits to love and enjoy.  He blessed us with the knowledge to create things such as flours and cheeses out of these.  Eat what God gave us.

Sure, you should still stay away from the really processed foods most of the time, but every once in a while a girl's gotta have a slice of Meat lover's pizza or a piece of four layer chocolate torte. If you eat well most of the time, and splurge every once in a while, you'll do so much better.  Don't limit yourself to what you can eat, what you should eat, or what you NEED to eat.  Focus on your hunger and God's bounty.

Sleeping . . . ENOUGH

We hear all the time about the importance of getting enough sleep in our lives.  It makes us healthier, happier, and helps us live longer lives. Something that most people don't think about, however, is the fact that we can actually get TOO MUCH sleep as well. Sleep deprivation (too little sleep) and sleep inundation (too much sleep) can affect us in many ways, sabotaging us to our paths of health and happiness.

The symptoms of both problems are quite similar - you're over tired throughout your day, you may have headaches or be irritated, some people even experience weakness and stomach pains.

So, how much is ENOUGH?  That is, believe it or not, relative to the person asking.  Most doctors suggest getting around 6-8 hours a DAY (24 hr period) for adults.  This is including naps. That being said, some people thrive on 5 hours, some 9 - it depends on how your body works.

How do you know if you're getting too much or too little?  Simple.  If you are over tired during the day, look at how much you slept the night before.  If you slept fewer than six hours, chances are you got too little sleep.  If you slept more than 8 or nine hours, you probably got too much.  If you think you got too much, try waking an hour earlier the next day.  If you think you got too little, try going to bed an hour earlier. Adjust your sleeping patterns over the course of a few days to see what works best for you.

Now, some of you are reading this thinking "I don't have time for sleep".  STOP IT. You HAVE to MAKE time for your body and your health.  If you don't think you can do that or don't want to, then you're reading the wrong blog. If you don't think you have time, try scheduling your day.  Go through your typical day and see what you're doing at any given hour or half hour block of time.  Important things such as work (typical work day - 40 hrs a week), family time, church/bible study, college or high school course work are mandatory so should take priority over all else. Once those are blocked, look at what you're doing during other times - watching TV, having a drink with friends, going out dancing . . . These are things that can sabotage our sleep.

Try this for a week - limit yourself to one to two hours of TV a night.  This will give you time to watch one or two shows that you really love.  Feel free to record any others you might want to see and watch them another time. Now, make a conscious decision and set a bed time and a wake up time. Set your alarm!  Next, STICK WITH IT for 7 days.  If you have chosen the right amount of sleep, you will feel better and more well-rested than you have been feeling.

If you are having trouble sleeping, try having a glass of milk (no, it doesn't have to be hot) or herbal tea about an hour before bed. Make sure you get enough water through your day and are exercising at least 15 minutes a day as well.  All these factors will help ensure a good nights' sleep.

Excuses

We all have them.  "I'm too tired" "I don't have time" "The kids are underfoot" . . . I use all three of these as to why I'm not working out on the Wii, doing an exercise tape, taking a walk, or riding the stationary bike.  I've spent dollar after dollar on exercise equipment, workout clothes, DVD's . . . And I just don't use it.  Why?  Well, in reality, I HAVE no excuse.  I'm sitting on the couch "taking a break" while the boy naps. I could very well be working out at this time.  I am up at 5:30 am.  I could just as easily get up 15 minutes earlier.

So . . . What's YOUR excuse?

TMI

Weight loss is a journey. Like alcoholism and drug addiction, food addiction takes "one day at a time" to overcome. Sadly, we can sabotage our own weight loss by doing TOO MUCH research. This confuses us and inundates us with information that we probably would have been better off without ever knowing.

Recently I got on a kick to eat only "all natural" foods and to cut out sugar substitutes from my diet. The first week, I lost five pounds. Every week hear after, however, I have steadily gained a pound a week. This tells me that the "all natural" route isn't necessarily the right one for me.

I also began doing in-depth research on sugar substitutes and sugar and sweeteners itself. I have found so many conflicting reports from people saying "everything's okay in moderation" to other people saying it's a conspiracy theory and it's all going to kill us. Mind reeling, I began to, quite literally, freak out. Then I realized something. FOR ME, it can't necessarily be about what to eat, what not to eat, or weather or not to have Splenda in my coffee tomorrow. It's about the fact that I have 120 pounds to lose - that's a whole person!! I have to figure out what CONSISTENTLY works for me, and KEEP WITH IT. It's about getting the weight off. Period.

So what works for me? Well, as much as I've tried to fight it, fact is, calorie counting is what works. Not weight watcher's points systems - to tell you the truth, I don't much trust anything I'm not counting myself. But pure writing down everything I put in my mouth and the calorie count for each thing. Right now, my calorie count should be around 1900-2100 a day. Over the past few weeks I have far surpassed that just by thinking the title "all natural" is going to make it okay. But it doesn't necessarily. Granted, I should still try to stick with all natural ingredients. But I need to count their calories. And truth be told, I personally FEEL BETTER and lose more weight using Splenda and aspartame (perhaps I'm pre-diabetic and didn't realize it?). So, I guess the point of this long-winded tirade is this: Find what works for YOU and JUST DO IT. Worry about getting the weight off FIRST, and let everything else come later. Don't do too much research either - sometimes too much information can sabotage everything you're trying to do.

Along the Way

On my journey, I have done so much research - web sites, books, labels . . . I am a veritable library of information about healthy eating, nutrition, and weight loss. And some of what I have learned has been, well, surprising to say the least. And some of it has been down right astonishing!

Calories, Fat, and Carbs. I am slowly learning that, although EXCESSIVE calories (above 3000 a day) DO lead to weight gain, calories themselves are not what really make you fat. It is the saturated fat and refined carbohydrates that do that to you. If you were to cut out high-fat and high- (unrefined) carbs, you would naturally be eating less calories too - if that kind of thing worries you. But what happens is this - lean protein and un refined carbs (high-fiber carbs) work to fuel your body - this fuel lasts for HOURS at a time (until your next meal/snack). Refined (white) carbs also fuel your body - but for short bursts of time - maybe an hour or so - then you crash and burn - BIG time. And saturated fat? While it does hold SOME importance (in small amounts) in your body, eating large amounts of it does absolutely nothing for you - it DOES however cause sluggishness, tiredness, bloating, and (in some cases) bowl-related issues.

Speaking of fat - Above all else, the one you want to stay away from more than any other is TRANS FAT. This is one of the absolute worst things you can put into your body. And guess what? That light margarine you just spread on your toast this morning? Yeah, the one that claims is "trans fat free"? Read the label. If it says "hydrogenated" anything on it? It has trans fat. Your very best bet it so eliminate ALL of that and invest (b/c it's a bit more expensive) in TRULY trans-fat free margarine. Better yet, ditch it altogether and use the real thing! Butter (in small amounts) is FAR better for you (and cheaper). Even better still, use olive oil! Cooking sprays are also a great alternative - but be careful b/c these have propellants added.

And sugar - okay, yes, sugar is not the best thing you can put into your body. That being said - if you are NOT diabetic, then sugar substitutes are worse for you than the real thing! You would be better off using the real deal than items like Splenda, Sweet and Low, and Equal. These contain chemicals in them that actually INHIBIT weight loss. I know, I had a hard time believing it too until I cut out all artificial sweeteners for a week. I didn't change anything else, just that. I lost five pounds in ONE WEEK after months of struggling to lose even two or three. I'm just saying . . . Better yet - replace white sugar with raw sugar, honey, and agave necter - which is my new obsession (my goodness this stuff is SO GOOD!)

Food labels. There is this amazing web site : http://www.scientificpsychic.com/fitness/labels.html . This site gives some great information on those pesky labels. And YES you NEED to read them! They are important! Serving size vs. fat content and carbs, calories (when needed), and (above all else) INGREDIENTS. Some the stuff they put into our food would shock you. Let's just say the rule still applies - if you CAN'T say it / pronounce it DON'T EAT IT. Find good alternatives that are all-natural (read labels here too - sometimes they can be tricky!). Better yet - make your own! You know what's going into it, you can make smaller batches, and there are some WONDERFUL resources out there with amazing recipes for everything from bread to crackers and even cheese crackers (like cheez-its and gold fish)! Don't know where to look? Ask me - trust me, I can find it for you!

Organic. Is it REALLY better? Nope. Why? Some stuff labeled "organic" can STILL use pesticides. The only rule here is that their pesticide be "all natural" and not chemical in nature. But guess what. Those "all natural" "non chemical" pesticides are JUST as carcinogenic and poisonous as the chemical ones! Best bet, buy whatever's cheaper for you, then wash and/or peel your fresh fruits and veggies.

Where was that saddle again?

So, did I accomplish my goals last week? Well . . . no. But I DID improve! Which, for me, kinda says a lot.

Lose two pounds? Nope. Didnt' even lose one.

Exercise twice? Not twice, I did once, though.

Two bottles of water every day? Does sugar free tea count?

Read lables and measure? Uh . . . no. Well, I read labels.

Am I disappointed? Well, okay, maybe a little bit. But I am also proud. Why? Well, first of all, I DID exercise one day. That is something I haven't done in months. Also, I have cut down on my diet coke consumption considerably. Rather than drinking it all day, every day, I have limited myself to one a day. And stuck to it! So, in the darkness there is still a shimmering light.

So, my goals for this week?

Lose 2 lbs.

Exercise 2 x's this week

2 bottles of water every day

Read labels and THINK about measuring.

By the way, my future sister-in-law, Daniella? She's going to be my inspiration. She lost SIX pounds last week! That means I have a little catching up to do, doesn't it?

Back in the Saddle

It seems like years have gone by since I last sat at this computer and blogged. I was so diligant for so long, and then . . . nothing. That is very much like my weight-loss journey. I'll be gung-ho for days, weeks, even months at a time, then . . . nothing. Why is that? Why do we allow ourselves to fall into the trap of mundane apathy? I made a vow at the start of this year that I was going to finish what I start - that includes everything, even my blogs.

I've begun to keep a journal. In it I write what I eat, my calorie count, weather I exercised or not and for how long. But I changed something - I began to add my thoughts and feelings of the day. This is helping me realize when I eat what I eat and why. It appears that I eat more in the afternoon and evenings because I'm bored. Why is that? I need to find a way to change it. Find something to do to keep me occupied during these hours.

My journal experience has also opened my eyes to something. With all my knowledge about diet and nutrition, I still obviously have a lot to learn. Saturday, for example, I couldn't decide between blueberry oatmeal or a bagel with cream cheese. So, I had a half a serving of both, thinking that I was doing myself a service. Then, I added up my calories for that meal, and it was over 550!! I would have been better off eating a whole serving of one or the other! In fact, the bagel would have been 320 and the oatmeal would have been 280! I was in shock. Then I added up my morning coffee. That hot chocolate packet I add to my coffee cup every morning brought the count up by 120 calories! I was in shock. SO, I realized that I need to CAREFULLY read my labels beforehand to avoid future mishaps like this.

My goal for this week: 2 lbs

exercise 2 days

drink 2 bottles of water daily

follow my meal plan - measuring everything

read my labels!