Thursday, July 29, 2010

Dreading the scale

Tomorrow is my weigh in day.
I am so nervous.
I've mentioned before my relationship with the scale.
Really it's a kind of unhealthy obsession.
But it's just sitting there. Daunting. DARING me to stand on it so it can show me just how close to 300 lbs I still am.
300 lbs.
I am praying so hard that I never see that number again in my life.
I looked at myself in the mirror last night, and wondered how my husband could possible be attracted to someone with my body. I felt ugly. I felt like that fat kid in high school that everyone loved to tease and taunt and make cry.
So I dread the scale. 
I've worked out more than I have in a long time this week.
I've cut way down on carbs and went way up on fruits and veggies.
Why am I so afraid?
I am praying that God gives me the strength to face tomorrow's number, no matter what it might be.

5 comments:

Nichole said...

No matter what the number says, go by how your clothes fit and how you FEEL! Better yet, take a note card and write your approximate goal weight on it, and tape it over the scale's numbers. This will help you to positively visualize yourself already there and help motivate you! Then don't check your actual weight except for maybe every two to four weeks! Positive thinking is key! :)


*~Nichole~*
http://butrflyfitness.wordpress.com

SuperMom Blues said...

: )
I only weigh once a month. Last month I weighed every week, and the scale didn't move at all.
Thanks for the follow!!

Miti said...

Don't give up. You will get there. Just keep up the good work and it will all pay off. Nichole gave some good pointers. Just think of all those mean kids in high school and how you're gonna shut them up with your awesome new look. I have faith that you'll get there. :o)

Seymour6 said...

Oh how I hate the scale too! I have struggled with my weight for 20 years (since my oldest was born) I have been down to a size 4 up to a size 16. Right now I am a 10 or a 12 depending on the outfit. I just want to say I threw out my scale 2 years ago. I go completely on how I feel. Some days I eat nothing but junk and then try to make up for it for another week or 2 cutting out all the junk food I possibly can. I never want to be a size 4 again, but a size 8 would be awesome! If I dont get there oh well... I wont beat myself up or deprive myself of things that make me happy. I just cant. Life is so short and you never know when your time will come. You have to be happy with who you are. If people dont like it too bad. You have to live your own life! But it sounds like you are ready to drop some weight so good luck to you!! I will be checking in on your progress! :)

courtney said...

Oh, hey...are you on sparkpeople.com? I am, but I don't keep up with it very well since I only know one person on there. LOL My user name is COURTNEYLD78 if you want to check it out! You measure your progress as far as weight, body measurements, activity/exercise, etc. It's pretty cool. They have groups for people that want to lose a certain amount of weight and groups for people in your area. :)