Monday, September 19, 2011

Reaching Goals, Setting New Ones.

I am pleased to announce that I have finally reached my 5% goal this weekend.
I don't know the last time I saw that weight, but it sure did feel good to see.

With the reaching of that goal, another one immediately takes its place:
10% or 263.3.

There is another goal that I'm going to be embarking upon this week.
As I was reading my lesson in Made To Crave this week (more on that in tomorrow's post!) I realized something pivotal.
In all the things that I have sacrificed to "get healthy" there's one thing that I have yet to let go of.
Diet sodas.
Now for some people, this isn't a big deal.
For me, however, it is.
I have overcome addiction after addiction in my life: alcohol, marijuana, cigarettes . . .
So this is just one more addiction to let go of.
If I can let this one go, then I know that I can do anything through CHRIST who strengthens me (Phillipians 4:13).
It also reminds me that I need to rely on God for this journey more, not just myself.
I can count, track, walk, run, jump, and scream all I like. But it means nothing without God right there with me.
And I can't do it without him.
Think about your goals. Can YOU reach them without God's help?

Friday, September 2, 2011

Old Demons Die Hard

I have been overweight my entire life.
At least it seems that way.
In school, I was the fat kid.
I was also the weird kid, so I didn't have many friends.
It was a lonely existence.
Don't get me wrong, I did have SOME friends, and the ones I had were great.
But you know a teenagers mind.
The "popular" crowd would often not give me the time of day.
If they did, it was to laugh, point, call names, tease . . .
Not all of them,
But a lot of them.
The ones that didn't just ignored me.
They pretended I didn't exist.

I revisited that old pain, long forgotten last night at my daughter's cheer practice.
All the other mothers were huddled together in one area.
I was alone on the bleachers.
I've tried to approach them before,
But was kind of ignored - blown off.
I'm just not one of them.

You see, they're all thin, beautiful, and are well-off financially.
And I'm, well, NOT.
I once again felt like the fat weird outcast that no one wanted to talk to.

I know I am better than that.
I know I should be nicer to myself.
I know that I am a child of God and perfect in how He created me.
But sometimes those old demons you thought you'd exorcised years ago come back to haunt you.
And you wonder if you will ever feel like a "normal" person again.