I have been overweight my entire life.
At least it seems that way.
In school, I was the fat kid.
I was also the weird kid, so I didn't have many friends.
It was a lonely existence.
Don't get me wrong, I did have SOME friends, and the ones I had were great.
But you know a teenagers mind.
The "popular" crowd would often not give me the time of day.
If they did, it was to laugh, point, call names, tease . . .
Not all of them,
But a lot of them.
The ones that didn't just ignored me.
They pretended I didn't exist.
I revisited that old pain, long forgotten last night at my daughter's cheer practice.
All the other mothers were huddled together in one area.
I was alone on the bleachers.
I've tried to approach them before,
But was kind of ignored - blown off.
I'm just not one of them.
You see, they're all thin, beautiful, and are well-off financially.
And I'm, well, NOT.
I once again felt like the fat weird outcast that no one wanted to talk to.
I know I am better than that.
I know I should be nicer to myself.
I know that I am a child of God and perfect in how He created me.
But sometimes those old demons you thought you'd exorcised years ago come back to haunt you.
And you wonder if you will ever feel like a "normal" person again.