Accountability . . .

You know what makes me madder than anything? When people don't hold themselves accountable for their weight issues.

"Boo-hoo . . . I have a glandular problem" says one person as they shove an extra large sized candy bar down their gullet.

"Waah, my mother and father were fat" says another while loading up on a supersized Big Mac meal from McDonald's (with the tell-tale diet coke).

"It's not my fault - my mommy made me clean my plate and only cooked deep fried pork fat" says another while eating a bag of pork rinds (in essence . . . deep fried pork fat).

Okay, folks, KNOCK IT OFF!!!

I AM FAT.
I MADE MYSELF THIS WAY.
I CHOSE TO EAT CHOCOLATE CAKE, ICE CREAM, PIZZA, DEEP FRIED, BREADED, AND/OR FATTY FOOD AND LOTS OF IT.
I CHOSE TO NOT STOP EATING WHEN I WAS FULL.
I CHOSE TO EAT ONE MEAL AT 5:30 AND THEN ANOTHER ONE AT 9:00.
I MADE THESE CHOICES. NOT MY GLANDS. NOT MY PARENTS. NOT MY HERITAGE.
ME.
FAT, OBESE, 300 POUND ME ME ME ME ME!!!

Look, I know we can't all be Kate Hudson/Cindy Crawford/Hillary Duff or whoever your personal latest "it" girl is. Quite frankly, I don't want to be. I want to be healthy. In order to do this, I have to hold myself accountable for everything I do (or don't do). If I eat that extra helping of mashed potatoes IT'S MY OWN FAULT. If I eat that entire cheesecake in one sitting IT'S MY OWN FAULT. If I chose to NOT get on that bike today IT'S MY OWN FAULT. If you can't hold yourself accountable for your actions, then you WILL NOT BE SUCCESSFUL!! Not just in weight loss, but in LIFE as well!!

TAKE RESPONSIBILITY FOR YOUR OWN ACTIONS FOR CRYING OUT LOUD!!!

Reality Bites . . .

I stepped on the scale this weekend. All the weight I had lost came back - plus two pounds. It's my own fault - I know it is. I'm the dummy that stopped getting on that bike every day. I'm the idiot that put that extra helping on my plate - even though I was full. I'm the moron that walks through the grocery aisles buying JUNK instead of WHOLESOME foods to put into my and my family's bodies.

I feel like a bad person. A bad wife. A bad mom.

I am killing myself, my husband, and my children with the CRAP that I am buying.
SO I guess now the only question left is:

What am I going to do about it?

1) DAILY ACTIVITY - Even if it's only 5 minutes.
2) FRUITS AND VEGGIES - I love 'em, Ronnie loves 'em, the kids love 'em . . .
3) GRILL, BAKE, or BROIL - And only FRESH UNBREADED MEAT!! No more prepared, frozen, breaded items.
4) WHOLE GRAINS - okay, this one I do anyway, but I'm still putting it on my list

I have GOT to get this under control.

Why Wynonna, Why??

I recently saw a commercial that REALLY upset me. A LOT.

I am a HUGE Wynonna Judd fan. I have been ever since I was Emily's size. I love her. When i was younger I wanted to BE her. But I was really disappointed when I saw her beautiful face on a commercial for Alli - a new diet drug.

In my opinion, when you turn to diet pills and/or surgery (Editor's Note: **for those that are MORBIDLY obese, this doesn't apply to you. Just to those that only need to lose 50-70 lbs**), you are saying "I give up" or "I don't want to work for it, I just want to be thin". Regardless of how many people it has "helped" or what their "guidelines are" or even if they are approved by the FDA or not. Bottom line is this. As soon as you are OFF the pills, the weight WILL COME BACK. Your body will become accustomed to the pill, and when you come off it, it won't be able to handle things on it's own. It has been scientifically proven .

I am so sad that Wynonna has fallen into this trap.

Oh the mighty temptations . . .

Bacon. I love it. I can't help it, it's probably one of my favorite foods. And I'm sorry, that crap that Butterball tries to pass off as "Bacon" just doesn't cut it.

Chocoalte. Another one I can't live without. Yummm . . .

It has been three weeks without bacon. At the end of week four I'm treating myself to a giant bacon sandwich. Yum.

So what does this have to do with dieting? Aha, dear reader, I shall tell you!

COMPLETE DENIAL LEADS TO FAILURE

This is something the diet companies don't want you to know. They want you to THINK you have to deny yourself in order to lose weight. That way, when you fail, you come right back to them to lose weight again. And again. And again.

The way I see it is this - you HAVE to allow yourself a treat every now and again. Okay, so maybe chocolate every day isn't the solution, LOL. But a bacon sandwich once a month IS. Knowing that I will be able to have that sandwich in one, two, three, or four weeks is enough to keep me going. If I save up all those months worth of "bacon points" every month, it is going to be SO worth it!!

That works on a daily basis too. I eat my egg white and turkey sausage sandwich or bowl of oatmaeal in the morning knwoing that I will be able to have those cinnemon rolls or that ham and cheese omelette on Sunday.

Now, I'm not perfect. Not by a long shot. I still screw up. Somtimes daily. But I'm learning. I'm learning that it's not about counting calories or points. It's not about consistantly denying myself over and over again. It's about eating 80% good, wholesome, healthy food on a daily basis, getting in at least 15 minutes of activity a day, and drinking at least three bottles of water a day. I don't have any idea if I've lost weight over the last couple of weeks - I haven't been on a scale. But I do know I feel better. I'm more active. I'm more awake. My back pain has diminished greatly. This, right now, is enough for me. In a couple of weeks when I'm used to all this, I'll add something more. Maybe another 15 minutes of activity or 3 bottles of water. Maybe more fruits and veggies and less meat. We'll see.

For now, I'll just fight the daily temptations that rear their ugly heads.
Darn you, chocolate!

The Biggest Loser . . . (*Warning* - SPOILER)

Last night was the premier of this season. It was interesting, and heart-wrenching. I cried at the first weigh-in - simply because several of the women there were around my weight. Then, at the end, they annouced that 9 of the couples would have to send one person home. I couldnt' understand it - this was a COUPLES edition! And there were 2 teams that were exempt - the team that won the challange and the team that had the highest weight loss for the weight loss. I was so sad. They said that at the end of 30 days, the people that were still there could bring their partners back. But still, is that fair?

Something else really surprised me. The AMOUNT of weight lost by some of the contestents. Some of them were losing up to 30 lbs!! IN ONE WEEK!! Now, correct me if I'm wrong, but isn't that unhealthy to lose it that fast? I mean, I can see 10-15 lbs in the first weeks but 30! That's frightening - REALLY frightening. If I lost 30 lbs, I'd be halfway to my weight goal! Well, ALMOST. That's unreal . . . How does someone LOSE that much in ONE WEEK??? Eating 40 calories a day and working out 7 hours a day??

Sheesh . . .

Now, I am still going to watch the show, because it keeps me motivated. But I am not going to fall into the whole, "I have to lose 20 lbs this week!!" BS. My goal is 3-5 lbs a week. That I know I can do.