Blogging My Way Through "Body Clutter" - Chapter One

Is food the enemy?
Well to some people, it can be.
Let's face it, it is an addiction that plagues more Americans than any drug on the market.
That's what this chapter faces.

We all associate memories to food, even those who aren't addicted - the Thanksgiving turkey, making cookies with mom, grandma's coconut cake . . . It's only human. But the difference between that and a food-addicted person is this - the food addict will take that memory and run with it. If it's a joyful memory, that food becomes attached to that joy, and we addicts have to have more of it especially during stressful times (still not convinced that food can be an addiction?)

For Marla, this addiction is Macaroni and Cheese. For Leanne, it's chocolate. For me, it's any food I can get my hands on.

Do I have a specific food memory? Well, I have several, but when it comes to "comfort food" I honestly don't have that one food that triggers me. My food addiction stemmed from a traumatic childhood that I won't go into detail about here. Essentially, I subconsciously put on weight for a purpose. Sadly, it didn't work, so I ended up continuing to eat to fill the painful void. I started putting on large amounts of weight by the time I was seven. Yes. SEVEN.

As a latchkey kid, I was never given limits on what I could or couldn't eat after school. I'd eat two mini pizzas, a whole box of macaroni and cheese, or a half a bag of potato chips for an after school snack. And then at dinner, I'd eat an entire plate filled to the rim with food, simply because my older brother would take whatever was left, and not leave anything for seconds or leftovers (I guess that was a form of self-preservation).

After I moved out of the house, I went to Austin where I got into some heavy legal trouble. Additionally, I was living with a (so I thought) friend that was manipulative and verbally abusive. In fact, she was the reason for all the legal trouble. After a year, I moved back home to my folks, but the depression and worthlessness were still in tact - full force. Again, I ate. By the time I was 21 years old, I was 240 lbs. Years passed, and I continued to put on weight - slowly but surely. When I had my daughter at 28 I was about 265. I stayed around the same weight until I met my husband about a year and a half later. After we moved in together and we got married, I gained even more weight. When I became pregnant with my second child, I was up to 280, roughly. After his birth, I went into a period of a kind of postpartum depression, and within five months time, I had put on 30 lbs to reach 310 lbs! I think I just now realized that I was depressed. Looking back now, I must have been. My house was terrible, I looked awful, I slept all the time, when I wasn't sleeping I was eating . . . I was depressed for sure.

Food had become my enemy, but I wasn't ready yet to relinquish all control.

Something Leanne said was that she finally realized that "It's only food! It isn't Love! It's not God!"(8). It would take me a while yet to find that realization.

Want to know exactly what Marla and Leanne say in their book? Buy it for yourself!

Blogging My Way Through "Body Clutter" - Introduction

The introduction to this book was both expected and surprising. Of course there were the usual obesity statistics and nutrition facts, but the surprising thing was how into detail about their lives Marla and Leanne went. Not only that, but every other paragraph was an "Oh, my God, that's ME" moment.

For example, Leanne recounts having two small children in the home while she was studying for her nutritionist license. This really hit home with me, as I am currently studying for my bachelor's degree with three kids in the house.

One of the points they both make here, is that you have to LOVE YOURSELF before you can truly let go of the emotional clutter (baggage) that led to the body clutter (obesity) in the first place. Marla even refers to body clutter as a kind of "self-abuse", and I couldn't agree more.

Why is it self abuse in my case? Well, that's something that I'll explore with you in the next point. Let's just suffice it to say that guilt and self-loathing were my initial triggers.

Want to know exactly what Marla and Leanne say in their book? Buy it for yourself!

Blogging My Way Through "Body Clutter"

I got a new book in the mail.
It's called Body Clutter, and it was written by The Fly Lady (Marla Cilley) and The Dinner Diva (Leanne Ely). Now, if you don't know who these two remarkable women are, you need to go check out their web sites. Go on. It's okay, I'll wait.

 . . . .

Alrighty then, now that you know how wonderful they are, let me tell you about how I ended up with this book.

If you've been following this blog, you know my struggles. I'll lose, then I'll gain. I'll try something, then something else, then something else . . .

If you've noticed I haven't been blogging here in a while, it's because I haven't really had much to blog about. It's kinda been the same thing ever day - I eat, I sleep, I weigh. Some days I lose, some days I don't. Then I started reading reviews on Body Clutter. It's not a diet book, first of all. It's more a book on how to deal with YOURSELF than anything else, and how to declutter your life (and thus your body). That was one thing that drew me to it. Second, I LOVE Marla Cilley more than you can possibly know. Seriously folks, she is my Lady Gaga. So I ordered it.

The thing about this book is that Marla and Leanne aren't preachy - at all. They don't point fingers and say mean things. They've BEEN there - and this is their story. Through telling their stories, they help you to write your own, so to speak, with exercises at the end of each chapter. The idea is that you keep a journal to write these answers in so you can go back and revisit them.

This is not a book about dieting, it's a book about changing your attitude about yourself.

About halfway through chapter 3, I got a stroke of genius. I have had bloggers block for this particular blog for a long time, so I decided why not use that to my advantage? I have decided that over the next couple of months, I am going to blog my way through this book. I will publicly journal my answers to all of the exercises, and share my successes and frustrations, joys and flops. I will not blog every day, simply because time will not allow that, but I will blog at least 2-3 times a week.

I would love for you to join me. If you would like to, you can get the book here or here.

So . . . Let's get started!

Adventures in fasting . . . Sort of

So last week DH and I come up with the great idea to try a two week fast. It really seemed like a good idea at the time, anyway. The intentions were good, the motivation was there. But what wasn't there was our expectations. Neither of us had any idea what was about to happen to our bodies and minds. After a day and a half, we couldn't continue. But we learned a lot those two days, and I believe I got a lot out of it.

I chronicled the first two days in my journal. To re-post all of it would take too long, but here are a couple of excerpts:

Day 1
Mood, Hopeful, Excited


I woke up hungry for the first time in a long time . . . Had a bottle of water with lemon - it was surprisingly yummy . . . Ronnie is doing things differently. I'm a little worried for him actually . . .


Day 2
Mood: Bleh


Yesterday was plain awful . . . I had to lay down most of the day and when I'd get up, I was weak and light headed. Even now, I don't feel like myself . . . Poor Ronnie, I think he suffers more from watching what I am going through . . . I am calling it withdraw. After all, it is an addiction I am trying to break . . . and I'm trying to justify my addiction.


Yesterday I had 2 shakes, a mug of broth, and a cup of juice and drank lots of water and lemon. The shakes are going to become tiresome, though . . . I had a nice talk with Ronnie yesterday and finally understand fully his reason to want to do this . . .


Last night had a CSH meeting . . . Friends were worried because of how I was acting. I just wasn't myself at all.


Hoping and praying that today is much better.


Day 3
No more fast.
Mood . . . ???


I am unsure how I feel about quitting. I know Ronnie feels like a failure, but somehow I do not. I am taking so much with me on this experience, as short as it was. I no longer crave the soda. And the food that I crave is on the healthier side. Things like salad and green beans, and tuna and scrambled eggs . . . I am confident that I have gotten the detox over with and that my journey will become easier . . . I feel for those that have to do this for surgery . . .  I now know that my will power for that just might not be strong enough.


What did I learn from this experience? Well, I learned that I am not as strong a person as I thought I was. After two days both my husband and I were in bad shape. I also learned that I lean on food too much for comfort - more than I thought I did. I learned that I don't have to eat when I am bored - I can drink something that tastes good such as water with lemon or some sugar free tea and be just as satisfied. I also learned that I don't have to eat as much as I thought I needed to in order to survive or to lose weight.

I am thinking that this fast is what is going to help me get back on track this time. And when I lose track, all I need to do is another 1-2 day fast to get back on it. I am hopeful that I can do this.

My meal plan for the day has changed as well, and now looks like this:

AM
Breakfast: Bagel Thin with 1T cream cheese, coffee with splenda and fat free 1/2 and 1/2
Snack: Weight Loss Shake
32 oz water

PM
Lunch: Soup or salad, fruit, iced tea with lemon and splenda
Snack: cup of broth or cup of power juice (pear, apple, grape, celery, carrot, spinach)
16 oz water

Dinner: Low-Fat Entree, Salad, Vegetable, iced water
Bed time snack: cup of herbal tea with splenda (occasionally air popped pop corn)

No soda, low carbs, low sugar, and low fat. My daily calorie count (not that I'm counting) should be in the range of 1200-1500 a day. I know it seems low, but in reality I don't get much exercise (as much as I'd like to), and I've been reading that the more sedentary a life you live, the fewer calories you need.

I know that I can do this with lots of prayer and encouragement.
Here's to your health!

Hate Not Working Out . . .

This week the workout has been a bit of a challenge, and my body is feeling the after effects. The main thing is my ankle - it's been hurting for a few days now. What did I do to it? I have NO idea. There's no problem with flexibility, but when I put weight on it, it hurts. I am utterly clueless.

Then there's the problem with the "burn out". I have a couple of work out videos I've been doing, and the truth is, I'm already tired of them. I need to invest in a couple more, I'm sure, but I can't find what I want in the store, and online it's hard to find too so . . . *sigh*.

I know that working out is the most important thing I can do - even more so than the eating. But I just can't seem to get with it this week. Yeah, I know I know . . . "just do it" . . . that kind of thing, but it's not as easy as it sounds! Really!

I need to figure out a way to get moving . . .

Low Fat, Easy brats and "Kraut"

Ronnie and I LOVE our Bratwurst. That's what I get for marrying a man with German blood running through his veins. But, brats can be SUPER high in fat and calories. Add a sandwich roll on top of that, and it's not exactly the healthiest thing you can put in your body.

Well, today I created a recipe that will satisfy that brats-and-kraut craving - it's SUPER easy, and FULL of flavor!

Crock-Pot Sausage and Kraut

1/2 head cabbage, sliced into shreds (you can also find pre-shredded cabbage in some supermarkets)
1 lb lean turkey brats
1/2 c Chicken broth
1/4 c apple cider vinegar
2 T sugar OR Splenda (if you're watching your carbs or are diabetic)
1 T caraway seed (optional)
salt and pepper to taste

In a 5 qt crock pot, combine broth, vinegar, sugar, salt and pepper, caraway seed, and cabbage (I used my clean hands to mix it gently and well). Lay brats on top of cabbage.

Cook on high 3-5 hrs or on low 6-8 hrs.
*note - if you prefer the more sour sauerkraut, omit the sugar and use white vinegar*

DIY - Do It Yourself!!

One thing that a lot of people have issues with when it comes to eating well, is the cost. I'm a huge fan of Diary of a Mad, Fat Woman, and her most recent post is what has inspired this one. 

Everyone who tries to lose weight always has an excuse - It's too hard, it's too expensive, it doesn't taste good . . . You know who you are (and yes, I am just as guilty as you are some days).

Well, here are some great tips that will help you off-set any time or cost issues you may have for eating well.

1) Buy in bulk, cook in advance. Buy 2 lb bags of brown rice and cook it all at once. Portion it out into 1 cup servings in freezer bags and store it in the freezer for those nights when you want to do a quick and easy stir fry or skillet meal. Do the same with chicken breasts - in some stores, you can buy 5 lbs of boneless, skinless breasts for about the cost of 2 1 lb packages. Buy it, cook it up, and store it for later use. This can also be done with ground turkey, whole wheat pasta, even veggies!

2) Make the most of your time. Of course you can't cook a pork loin and veggies when you get home from work. But you can make something quick and easy. Even a spaghetti dinner can be made healthy by switching from white pasta to whole wheat, using ground turkey instead of beef, and bulking up your sauce with some mushrooms, onions, peppers, or spinach (or, you can do what I do and add all three!).

3) Invest in a crock pot! A crock pot is an ESSENTIAL part of my life - I use it at least once a week, sometimes twice. And it's just made for low-fat, low-cal cooking! All those cuts of low-fat meat that dry out easily? Stick them in the crock pot with some veggies, a little broth, and set it and forget it! Remember that pork loin you didn't have time to cook? Well, now you do!

4) SOME packaged products are okay - in a pinch. For example - you can find good low-fat and low-sodium cream of chicken or cream of mushroom soups. Add some brown rice, veggies, and a protein and you have a great casserole! If you don't have time (or think you don't, anyway) to cook brown rice for an hour, go ahead and use the quick-cooking variety. It has the same nutritional value and a fraction of the time. Just be sure to read the labels to make sure there's no added sugar or fat!

5) Vegetables are surprisingly cheap. Even more so if you buy them frozen, in some cases. You can buy stir fry mixes for a fraction of what it would cost to buy all the veggies separately - and there's little to no waste since it can be stored in the freezer for up to a year!

"But Jen, how can I make dinner in a hurry for my family in between work, PTA meetings, soccer, cheerleading, swimming, supper club, book club, and the church auxiliary?"

There are SO MANY options for just that. I have a secret formula I'm going to share with you. Ready?

1 lb meat + 1 1/2 c Brown Rice or Whole Wheat Pasta + 1 C broth or water + 1 can cream soup or tomato paste + 2 T seasoning of choice + 1 1/2 c fresh or frozen vegetables of choice + 1 deep sided skillet + 20-30 minutes = a skillet meal for four fit for a family of four. : )

For example - use ground turkey, brown rice, beef broth, tomato paste, taco seasoning, peas and carrots and you have a taco skillet meal! 

Use chicken, pasta, chicken broth, cream of mushroom soup, thyme, and mushrooms for an out of this world mushroom chicken skillet. 

The possibilities are endless. The benefits - YOU KNOW WHAT'S GOING INTO YOUR FAMILY'S TUMMIES! Unlike the packaged products, where you can't even pronounce half the items.

So, NO MORE EXCUSES! Eating healthy does NOT have to break the bank OR take up your time!