This post was inspired by this post by my good friend Teri at her blog, Mirrors Never Lie. Check her blog out and give her some love!
Addictions are strong in my family.
Alcoholism runs on my father's side.
I battled my own addiction demons in the forms of marijuana, alcohol, and nicotine.
All of those addictions were easy to break compared to this one.
Food addiction affects millions of people across the globe.
And most of them don't even know it.
My own addiction blossomed sometime in my childhood. I had a rough one. We won't go into details here. I began to eat for comfort at a very, very young age. I ate, I gained weight. I became an overweight child. Perhaps I was even an obese child, I really don't recall much about that.
I do remember being mocked and scorned for my weight. This led to depression. Which led to more eating. More weight gain. More taunts. More depression . . .
And thus the cycle began.
I remember at one point being so depressed that I though about suicide.
So I ate more to stifle these nagging thoughts.
And the cycle continued.
I began "self-medicating" with smoking at around 14 or 15. A few years later I would supplement that with marijuana and alcohol. All the while trying to stifle the feelings of depression.
When I quit drinking and smoking pot (I continued smoking for several more years), I returned to food. I gained close to 70 lbs within a year.
When I quit smoking, I turned to food even more.
I had no more addictions to turn to, I had to have SOMETHING, right?
After the birth of my second child, I hit 310 lbs.
I am now learning that food is the ROOT of my problems, NOT the solution.
I am learning that eating for comfort will only cause more problems.
I am learning that God made my body specifically so that I would know when to eat and when to stop, and I am learning when to listen to those triggers.
They say that a food addiction is even worse to deal with than smoking or drugs.
I believe it.
Here's to being losers in 2011!!