It's been a while since I've sat here at the keyboard pouring my heart out for the world to see. For a while there, blogging just got to where it wasn't fun anymore. It became tedious. I became more concerned about followers and readers than about the real reason I started this journey to begin with: ME. So this and my other blog, The SuperMom Blues will both change slightly over the course of the next few months. Thank you for reading, and enjoy.
I longingly stare at the plate of chocolate chip cookies before me. Ooey, gooey goodness. Homemade. From scratch. Still warm from the oven. Calling to me. Beckoning me. Tempting me. I shove the plate away from me, stand up, and grab a banana from the fruit bowl instead. Chocolate chip cookie it ain't, that's for sure. But there's a part of me that is more fulfilled for choosing that banana. The cookies (yes, "-ies": ya' really think I'd only eat one??) would have satisfied for the period of time it would have taken to put them into my mouth, chew them up, and swallow them. Then, the guilt would set in. Almost immediately. "What have I done? I just compromised all that work I did yesterday! I am such a failure."
That's the one phrase that reverbs through my head consistantly through this journey: I am a failure.
But I am NOT a failure.
I am a woman of God. Fearfully and wonderfully made in His image.
Any setback will not define me for the next thirty years. It's what I do AFTER the setback that does.
Do I sit in wallow in my own self pity, depressed because I gave into a moment of weakness? Or do I forget it and move on?
This is the point of the book Made to Crave by Lysa TurKeurst. Well, one of the points, anyway. Lysa points out in her book that we don't have to be imprisoned by our cravings, chained by the choices that face us every day. God made us to crave: HIM. The entire focus is that we shift our cravings from ones for cookies and chips and fried chicken (my weaknesses) to ones for Him using prayer and scripture. And the best part is, in reality, it has less to do with weight loss and food, and everything to do with your spiritual relationship with the Father.
I still crave cookies. I struggle daily. Some days I win, some days the food does. But the bottom line is that with each setback comes opportunity to learn and to grow both emotionally and spiritually.
Beginning this week, I will start a series based on the Made to Crave book. This blog will become my personal journal, for the world to see. I will share my joys, my frustrations, my prayers. I look forward to sharing this journey with you all.