Wednesday, January 30, 2013

Weekly Update - And Body Dysmorphic Disorder

My check up with my surgeon was last week, and I was told I don't have to go back for another 6 months - really?! Seriously, I'm not sure how comfortable I am with that. I guess maybe it's been a bit of a crutch for me to see him every 6 weeks - but 6 months??

My scale is still being a whiny little baby, so I'm having to go by what I weighed in at the doctor's office.

As of Friday, my weight was 208 and my BMI has gone down to 33!!
When I began this journey, I was 295 with a BMI of 49 - I'd say 87 lbs and 16 points off a BMI scale rating is NOT TOO SHABBY!
I have lost 56% of my excess body weight - which puts my actual goal weight at around 140 - But my PERSONAL goal (right now) is 160, so I have around another 50 lbs to lose.
My weight loss has slowed considerably, but it's still going down, so I am NOT going to complain!

Next week a good friend will be opening his fitness center, so I will FINALLY get to go workout on an (almost) daily basis! I can't wait!! Hopefully that will boost my weight loss and I can get this last 50 off before summer! (hey, it could happen!)

So, today I want to talk to you about a subject that affects millions upon millions of women worldwide. It's called Body Dysmorphic Disorder. What is it? In a nutshell: you look at yourself and all you see are flaws and imperfections - weather they're actually there or not, or weather the rest of the world sees them.

Body Dysmorphic Disorder (BDD) can be caused by many environmental influences from peers to society, most common are little girls looking a fashion magazines wanting to be like the models on the cover. BDD is also the leading cause of eating disorders such as anorexia and bulimia.

How does this apply to WLS patients? Well, it's simple, really. We have been fat for so long, that when our bodies start to change, regardless of how drastic or quickly that change may come, when we look in the mirror all we see is fat, still. This does not happen with EVERY WLS patient, mind you, but it is quite frequent. In my own experience, it's a nightmare. While people are gushing over how much weight I've lost, I still look in the mirror and see the fat and the cellulite. I still see myself at 295 lbs, even though I'm inching up to 100 lbs. gone.

Will this ever change? I don't know for sure. I certainly hope so. I'd hate to get to 160 lbs and still see myself as huge. Many WLS patients turn to plastic surgery at some point, and I'm planning on NOT going that route (i hate surgery). I'm prayerful that through diet and exercise I find a peace with my body and my image of myself improves.

If you or someone you know lives with BDD: don't despair  You can find help in outside sources such as counseling, if it becomes so bad you become depressed. Remember to eat your protein and drink your water daily, and each day look at yourself in the mirror and exclaim: "I am fearfully and wonderfully made . . ." (Psalm 193:14). God made you in his own image and loves you just as you are. His only wish is for you to be healthy and happy.


Angel Seidenberg said...

Thank you, Sis, for this blog! You know, short, skinny girls have the same problem, or at least I do. I get the general comment of how "little" I am all of the time. Most of the time I just smile and change the subject - but inside I keep wondering why women of all walks and sizes have to point out that I'm little. I didn't choose to be little - inside of me is an average height, average weight woman. And then I learned about the Scripture you quoted!!! So now, instead of looking in the mirror and wondering why I still look like a middle-school girl and not a grown woman, I tell myself that I am fearfully and wonderfully made by God! And that I'm perfect in His eyes... and His opinion in the long run is all that matters anyways.

B. Jenkins said...

Congrats...CONGRATS on your weight loss! I am going through similar journey! I've lost 44 pounds already. Currently at 269 and wanting to be at 199 by December! 70 lbs seems HUGE! Good luck on meeting the rest of your goals! :-)

Mommie Daze said...

I'm better now that I'm older, but I had this as a teenager and college student. I remember thinking back then that I was fat at 135 lbs. I'd love to weigh 135 lbs. today!

The Dose of Reality said...

Congratulations on your weight loss and all of your progress. That's amazing and you're very inspiring.