Wednesday, June 13, 2012

A LIfe-Changing Decision . . .

Ever since I decided to have the Vertical Sleeve procedure, it has been my every waking thought.
Every moment of every day, I dream of what it will be like to not have to physically struggle.
I have dreams at night of waking up in the hospital to my surgeon telling me that everything went beautifully.
For those of you that have been following this journey, you know exactly what I've been through.
I've tried everything known to man.
Diet, exercise - those things are IMPERATIVE. But sometimes, even those things are not enough.

I recently had someone tell me that I could do this on my own.
I have been obese for - literally - 26 years.
I am 36 years old - you do the math.
If it was SO easy . . . If I COULD do this on my own, it would have already been done.
This surgery is a TOOL. If I said it was going to be an easy fix - I'd be lying. It's going to be hard as hell.
It's going to change my life.

I've been thinking lately about how my life has been moving thus far, and there's something that I've realized.
80% of my life revolves around food.
Many of my friends and I have a food relationship.
I am a cook at heart, and love trying and creating new recipes.
When I'm joyful, I eat to celebrate. When I'm sad, I eat to mourn.
When I'm pissed off at my kids, I eat to keep from duct-taping them to the wall.
That's all going to change. Food will no longer be my crutch.
Will I still have the same friendships and relationships in a year that I have now?
I hope so.
But I hope that they'll change.
I hope that those friendships and relationships will become less self-sabotaging on my part.
I am so excited to see the changes that this decision will bring to me.
Thank you so much for joining me on this journey!

3 comments:

Tara Lotufo said...

Jen- sometimes you gotta do, what you gotta do! Good for you!!!

Lisa said...

Make sure you keep updating us on your journey!

Lots of luck to you!

Jessica said...

The vertical sleeve procedure is supposed to be amazing. If people criticize, they still don't understand your going to have to work at it with the procedure being done...it's just that now instead of fighting the battle with a dull butter knife you now are equipped with a rifle. That's all. You still have to keep fighting the battle. I hope it all goes well for you!!