The fat that leads us . . .

I had my final piece of crispy bacon . . .

It was soooooooo gooood . . .

The problem is, now that I know that was my LAST ONE (not ever mind you, just on a daily basis), now I want more!!

I have to admit, though, I am looking forward to Canadian Bacon and Egg white omelettes again. Call me crazy, but I actually enjoyed those things. Especially with a lot of pepper. Don't know why, but pepper makes the omelette!!

This weekend and the week that follows are going to be challenging though. I have Ronnie's babies all week - well at least for two days while he's at work. I don't THINK it'll be that bad . . . but then, I've thought that before.

So I have to work up a schedule for them too. And an eating plan. Is it fair for them to have cereal and milk while I have Canadian bacon and egg whites . . .

Wait, did I really ask that question? LOL - DUH . . . but then, if it's cold enough maybe I'll make us all oatmeal! Mmmm . . . yummy cinnamon oatmeal . . .

SHE'S BACK!

I wasn't dieting for a while - There was a lot of stress in our house for a while. While that's no excuse, sometimes it's cheaper to buy the bad stuff than the good stuff . . . so there you have it. And counting points and calories when you are stressed just doesn't help the stress level. So we put it aside.

I am no longer doing weight watchers. Not because I didn't love it - I did - but because I can no longer afford it. Although, I do have the "tools" - a journal, points calculator, couple of books, cookbooks . . . so I think I can do it on my own for a while. I do have a support system here, so I think I'll be okay.

That being said, I did maintain my weight loss, so I start over again exactly 11 pounds lighter than I was when I began the journey. That's a score for me. So now that the holidays and the new year is upon us, I have a few commitments to make.

Now I can say with full honesty that I WILL make cookies, and that I WILL eat a few - well maybe more than a few. But really, that's nothing compared to the crap I have been eating.

Everyone says that a good starting point is "positive affirmations". Well, it has been my experience that most of those are pretty hokey, so I made up a few of my own!

I will only buy Canadian bacon for myself. Everyone else can have sausage or bacon. I like the leaner stuff anyways.

Veggies are my friend, and there are some good winter ones out there that I love anyway!

Scrambled eggs with peas and mushrooms are actually pretty good - and I get a veggie in that way. Now all I have to do is omit some of the yolks and I'm good to go!

Counting calories suck. I just need to watch what I'm putting into my mouth - I've known this for years, now it's time to practice it.

Exercise isn't going to kill me. NOT exercising WILL.

I can do this. I KNOW I can do this.

It's not about being THIN it's about being HEALTHY.

10 down, 80 to go!

It has taken over a month, but I have FINALLY reached my 10 lb goal!! I am so excited! The thing is, I haven't been perfect with my eating and exercising - I know if I had been, I would have reached it quicker. But the fact remains that I'm obviously doing SOMETHING right, otherwise, I wouldn't have lost ANYTHING. Worse yet, I would have gained instead.

Now Ronnie, well he's lost 13 total.
But I think it's a guy thing.
Besides, I've lost more inches than he has, so I can't complain.

But I have reached my first goal.
My next goal is another 10 lbs. to bring the total to 20.
Then 30. Then 40. Then 50, 60, 70, 80, and 90. Then I will complete my final goal at 100 lbs lost. Whew. It seems like a long time coming. I know it can be done. I KNOW it can. After all. The first ten are the hardest . . . so they say.

But I'll leave the final total for next year.
For now, I focus on my next goal weight.

280 lbs.
Ten more pounds.

GO ME!!

Eat Something, Darn you!!

As a returning college student, I see tons of young women whose ideals about body image have been morphed and distorted by societie's unrealistic view of the "perfect woman". These girls wander around campus in their size 2 jeans complaining that they're getting "fat" (when you can still see their ribs). I wouldn't be so worried about it, except for one tiny detail. It's not just a handful of girls. Of the entire population of TWU, I would venture forth to say that a whopping 70% of girls here suffer from some sort of body image issue. Now, considering that around 60% are athletes (la crosse, softball, soccer, gymnastics, etc), that really says a lot about how we view perfection.

So, what is "perfection"? Personally, I don't believe it exists. There is no universal "perfect" form for the human body.

My DH, for example, has what you might call a "beer gut". He is very self concious about this. Me? I look at him every day and can't get over how unbelievably georgous he is to me. Not only do I not see his "gut" but I think I would miss it just a little if it wasn't there. Don't get me wrong - we are in this lifestyle change together for better or for worse. But regardless, I love him more now than the day we married. Beer gut or not.

And, of course, you all see my "unperfect" body shining in all it's glory right there on the front page of this blog. It is MORTIFYING to have that stare back at me. But I know that, eventually, that body is going to start shrinking. Little by little, it is going to melt away to my personal perfection. And what is that, you might ask? My perfection is a size 14. I believe that I will be around 180 or 190 when I reach this size. I do not ever want to be "thin". I love my body. I have curves, baby. I have hips, I have a butt, I have boobs. I don't ever want to lose those things.

The only reason I want to lose weight is 97.6%. The other 2.4% is, admittedly, based on the fact that I don't look good at 300 pounds and a size 26. But at 190 and a size 14? Oooh . . . I'll be SMOKIN'!

Well. . .

I lost. Just over a pound which brings the grand total to just under 8 lbs.

Although I know a pound a week isn't bad at all, I know that if I ate better I'd be losing a whole lot more. In fact, I'd be willing to bet that if I ate all my points, and ONLY my points every day, and saved my flex points for the weekend, I'd be doing a lot better. It's just so hard.

I have learned this week that:

1) Shopping on an empty stomach and leaving less than an hour beofore dinner time is never a good idea.

2) Cupcakes are NOT my friend - even un frosted mini ones.

3) Fruit and veggies ARE, on the other hand, my best friends

4) THIS IS NOT A DIET, IT'S A LIFESTYLE CHANGE

I also learned that a lot of people go off WW and gain all the weight back. Why? B/C they forget everything they learned. Bad food is okay - EVERY ONCE IN A WHILE. But NOT every day.

Speaking of bad food, my one craving this week has been chili cheese tots. So, I made up a recipe that's not AS bad. Now this is NOT an everyday thing - BAD FOOD IMPROVED IS STILL BAD FOOD!! But, it's good for a treat every now and again, when the craving is too strong:

Better Chili Cheese Tots
Serves 4 at 5 points a piece

1/2 lb. bag frozen tater tots
1 can lean beef chili or turkey chilli
low-fat cheddar cheese

Spray a small roasting pan or cooking sheet with spray. Layer the tater tots and spray tops with cooking spray. Cook according to package directions until browned. Top with chili and cheese and bake until chili is bubbly and cheese is melty.

Like I said, NOT an every day treat, but okay for every now and again.

10 bucks says . . .

That I lose nothing this week. It's been a BAAAD week eating wise.

And I just had a mini pumpernickel loaf as a bed time snack. I bring it all on myself . . .

Tomorrow is "D" day . . .

IF I make it to the ten pound mark, I will be re-measuring myself and taking new pics (posting them alonside the origional). I am nervous and excited all at once. This is the first time that I have ever lost weight this regularly.

I'v had a rough week, eating wise, but I have made up for it in excersize, I think (well, except for that whatachickn sandwich the other night . . .). I just have to remind myself on a daily basis that this CAN and WILL happen. It's all about change, growth, and shrinkage.